You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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