..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
