apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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