you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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