my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
