I want to stick my p in your. b.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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