He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
