So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
