i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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