I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
