rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
