I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I want to make a zoo with you.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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