The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
