Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
