i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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