i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize