I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I checked into jail on foursquare
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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