I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize