How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
