I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
