Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
zippers are such a cool invention
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize