Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
