he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we're making bets on your personal life
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
