Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
