Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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