I hate your face
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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