I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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