My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she looked like the before picture.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i think i just lost a toe
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
