Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
