Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
