I hate all girls vehemently.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We need a shit load of segways right now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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