she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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