just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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