puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
