It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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