I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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