I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
