Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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