Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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