i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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