i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
