i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
