her vagine was all disorganized.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize