Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
