Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
