we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
