idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dick very happy bro
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
