we have pet lesbian snakes
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
