And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
