I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
