Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
