so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
