i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
