so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
