remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize