I didn't shave. On purpose
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
