I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
