My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I want to be your penis for a week.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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