we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
