Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
