And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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