how do flat chested girls get laid?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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