He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
