I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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