I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
