Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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