He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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