Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
