The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm having to shit out rocks
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
