So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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